4.20 in Antwerp

Apologies for the lack of Kern posts...it's been a busy few weeks in Albion. Over the coming weeks Jim and I will be posting some oldies from our trip so keep your eyes peeled.

Here are a some teasers from one of the shoots in Antwerp. We heard people were getting pretty upset because of equal opportunity and didn't like that we were only shooting hot single headed girls - so we found these siamese twins who were prepared to do all sorts with us.


Just kidding! Here is Zoe and Lina. They had never met before they came to the casting. Kern liked them both so much he wanted to shoot both of them and seeing as they said yes to anything he suggested they were more than happy to be shot as a pair.



They immediately bonded and had lots in common. They both like rock music, they both have huge tatt's on their back, they both have hippy mums, and they both really, really, really like smoking pot.


They couldn't wait to skin up. Their faces lit up when Richard told them he was doing a pot smoking series.


They got really giggly after this part of the shoot and interviewing them quickly became more and more difficult as they forgot what their own name was.


They would just stare at us blankly every time we asked them a question so we told them to just do what they do best and grab each others butts.


Some people are into conjoined twins though, right?


After a day of blowing smoke into each others faces we took them out into the woods where Jim asked them to play his favourite game - leapfrogging.


By the end of the day they were like totally BFF.


SBK Antwerp is going to be a really hot episode.

Milan - Giulia

Ok so I'm backtracking a bit now, but we missed a load of girls so this is Milan day 2- Giulia (pronounced Julia), a Sicilian living in Milan. She was great... a reserved, and yet bubbly chainsmoker who listened to QOTSA 1st album on repeat, which qualified her pretty heavily in my book even before seeing her naked.....




....which as you will agree is quite an impressive thing in itself. She had these insanely gravity defying boobs, and Kern made her jump up and down on her bed for ages till she figured out why and ran off blushing into the toilet. I would post a screengrab of this but it doesnt really translate to the still format so you'll have to wait for the video for that one.




She freaked out a bit when Richard asked her to clean her feet for the camera and we were worried that this may have been some kind of religious thing, but for whatever reason she wouldn't do it. It was a wrong move on her part, cos they were fucking filthy.

got some Flemmish in my throat

Antwerp is a strange yet beautiful city. It's very tranquil which is something we havent been used to on this trip (it has a population of just 12 people.) Jim and Kern stayed in a hotel where the receptionist goes home at 8pm (and which also smelt like babies according to Richard) and I stayed with Doris just across the river. Here is what Antwerp looks like on Doomsday.


As soon as we got there Richard was interviewed for Belgium tv. The girl interviewing him is like the Belgium Alexa Chung I think. Her first question was "So...what do we need to know about the man that is, Richard Kern?" Went down really well....


Their hotel was really eco-friendly. They also use rose petals in their loo's instead of toilet paper.


We had our own special hip hop room.



Another clean Vice office...this one even has an aquarium.


Richard was a big fan of the Belgium delicasy. His favourite was the 'sour balls'.


Jim is also a fan of balls.


I got tiered of Richard asking millions of girls to get their baps out so I told him to get HIS out for a change.

Weve been playing the game of '"How many different words that mean 'breasts' do you know?" Richard has swapped us a few American ones for British ones. Richards favourite is 'jugs', Jim's joint favourites are 'smash bags' and 'norks' and my favourite is 'baps'. Kern claims he can do the whole alphabet with a different boob word. Still havent found the time to test him on this...

Erica - Antwerp

This is the girl we shot today.. Erica. She's Indonesian, but comes from Rotterdam (Holland).. Hardly any of the girls we shoot are actually from the city we're in.
She was rad to the power of sick. Here she is casually showering whilst 2 grown men videotape her. Pretty standard, really.




This was the first joint ive made in about 3 years now that i cant smoke it without being instantly transported to a land of demonic introversion and intense paranoia.
We didnt let her inhale much after what happened in BCN, but its better for the photos if you don't anyway.. you get that thick blue smoke. You don't have to be a hippy to think this is hot.


She was pretty good at bending over as demonstrated here.


This shot really hurt my arm to get so you better fucking like it.